homily...

I just realized.. ang ganda ng homily yesterday. Sabi ni father last night, when you ask forgiveness to God, dapat daw, you muddle it up with some actions. Actions such as seeking forgiveness to the person you aggrieved. And also, returning everything you have wronged to that person. Eh I was thinking… what if I don’t know kung what erroneous thing that I have done how will I seek forgiveness to that person, to those people? How can I return anything, kung wala naman akong ginulang sa kapwa ko? I was really thinking kung meron ba talga akong ginawa. Or was I only trying to act clean and pretending as if I did nothing. Really, I am hopelessly confused. I was in fact trying to recall everything. Wala naman ata akong ginawang masama. Was it my fault if they dislike me so much. Was it my fault if I was ugly. Diba sabi naman nila, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Why judge if you don’t know anything. I suppose di ko fault maging hindi super pretty, I remember what my ate used to say, na, kung kamukha mo si Angelina Jolie, then you have the right to say and assess a person whether s/he’s ugly or not. And even if you do look like Angelina, I think,, you shouldn’t condemn a person (well although ganun ako minsan pagnaasar, but di seryso ion.. hehehe..) not unless you know her so much. Na you know how really ugly she is,, di lang sa panlabas kundi sa panloob din. Plus don’t do it at her back, tell to her face. (talk to me!) So, naisip ko din, I have a lot of thorns in my heart, hidden nuisance. Kaya siguro I can’t seek any forgiveness. but if i were to endow forgiveness to someone, I’d be really glad to do so. Kapal ko eh noh,, hai,, I can’t make any move kasi I was truly clueless about this. All I know is that they me so much, and this is not a misunderstanding anymore. Its all about criticizing a person, na you actually don’t know. Oh God, sana maayos na to, I don’t want to be selfish and be the reason of fights. But I am not doing anything. I am just here closed and quiet. I hope you would stop. I wont hide nor run away from you anymore, I wont avoid you as well. I did nothing. And if you want to talk to me, go on. If you’d still want to stab me behind go ahead. Siraan mo na ako sa lahat ng tao na kaya mo. But see, it wont help. Let’s all grew up.